Episode 20- Full of Surprises

Captain's Log- 3:19AM- Tuesday
I've begun training myself to sleep standing up.  I've pulled it off successfully at least 3 times in the last week.  Now, I realize that sleeping while standing is a trick usually reserved for horses and cows, but since I am from the great state of Texas I feel that I am especially qualified for this type of endeavor.  It's not for everybody, however.  You need great balance... decent leg strength... and to be racked with fatigue and exhaustion to the point of insanity.  The first time I did it was while I was waiting for Treicy to finish changing Renata's diaper in the middle of the night.  I leaned up against the wall and was holding her pacifier in place while Treicy cleaned her up.   I'm not sure how or when it happened but I eventually slipped away into a blissful 18-second nap.
"Oh my God... Are you snoring?!" Came the cry from my stunned wife.
Of course I tried to convince her that I wasn't... however my cover was blown the moment I snapped awake and fell backwards into the closet.  The second time it happened was in the kitchen.  I was standing there waiting for the tap water to get warm so that I could rinse out the baby bottles.  I, once again, slipped into a heavenly snooze that lasted about 11 seconds before the sound of the running water made me almost wet myself in my sleep.  I immediately came to and then barely made it to the bathroom before disaster struck.  Thank goodness because that would have been a horrifically embarrassing conversation to have with the wife.  The third incident occurred during a midnight feeding.  I was giving Catalina her bottle while pacing back and forth in the hallway.  She was very fussy and I didn't want her to wake up her sister so I took her outside the nursery into the hall.  As soon as she started to settle down, I leaned up against the wall for a second just to give my old man, aching back a break.... and I slipped away to rich nirvana.  Luckily, 5 seconds later Catalina laid one of her patented sleeping baby ninja twitch-kicks to my groin and that woke me right up.  Good Morning!
I'm not sure what advantages this new superpower will yield me.  I also wonder if I can pull it off in other boring situations like when I'm waiting in line at the bank or when I'm waiting for the valet to  bring my car around.  Either way, one thing is for sure.  Sleeping has become a serious commodity in this household.  It is worth its weight in gold and just as rare to find.  The last 10 months have taught me a hard lesson.  I will never take a good night's sleep for granted again.  Once I am back on a normal sleeping schedule and someone asks me casually:  "How'd you sleep?"
I will grab that person by the shoulders... look them straight in the eye... and say: "It was a glorious slumber!  Thank you so very much for asking!"  And then, whether this person is a male or a female, I will kiss them full on the mouth.  Think I'm kidding?  Just ask my wife about the time I had too many cocktails at a company christmas party and ran into my baseball hero, Sammy Sosa in the bathroom.
Wait...
You know what?
On second thought... don't.

Captain's Log- 3:59 AM- Thursday
Let's be clear about one thing... for the last 10 months I've been wrong about some things... ok, I've been wrong about most things.  I still can't tell them apart 100% of the time... I still dry-heave for 20 minutes whenever a poop storm hits... I still struggle when left alone with 2 babies for any amount of time.  As a matter of fact, I've only been sure of one thing, and one thing only during this entire experience.  Their  personalities.  I could always tell them apart through their personalities.  It was very simple... Renata was the grump and Catalina was the angel.  They were fire and ice... Miss Attitude and Miss Nice... The bossy one and the wallflower.  It was easy!  But then a very curious thing started to happen with the girls and their personalities.  For one, Renata has become a whole new character that we call: Miss Kissy Kissy Giggle Face.  All of a sudden... out of the clear blue... this little girl learned to kiss.  She kisses her sister... her brother... her mother... her father... the nanny... the cat... the rocking chair and even the vacuum cleaner.  She's on fire.  Every time you pick her up... bam!  You get a smooch.  If you're playing with her on the floor and she gets close enough... bam!  You get a smooch.  She's also become quite the giggle queen.  Everything makes her laugh hysterically.  The cat... a bouncing ball... The spin-cycle of the dryer... her brother's sock puppet shows... and her father's special dance performances (my catalogue is very thin... it's pretty much limited to moves from the 1984 classic movie:  Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo).
Catalina has not stayed dormant during this transformation.  It seems that Little Miss Sunshine isn't all peaches and cream.  She has a little attitude of her own.  We buy toys in pairs in this house.  2 dolls... 2 teething rings... 2 teddy bears.... 2 of everything.  One for each of them so that there is no drama... Doesn't matter.  Catalina wants them both.  She will crawl over to where Renata is and will snatch whatever she's holding out of her hands and crawl off with it at break-neck speed.  Renata cries... Catalina smiles... It's all quite sinister.
I don't think that this is a case of the girls switching personalities like that famous myth about twins states.  I think this is more a case of each girl's personality finally coming through 100%.  It turns out that Renata has a very sweet and cuddly side... and Catalina isn't quite the pushover that we all thought she was.   While this new chain of events is amazing for their development... it puts a real shiver down my spine when I think about the future.  Because for the last 10 months, those two little bundles of joy have managed to put an ass kicking on me, the likes of which I've never seen before.  And now I come to find out that they've only been operating at 50% capacity... and NOW they're going to start showing their full personalities and powers?
Sigh... If I've said it once, I've said it a million times.  Daddy needs a nap.

Episode 19- Rock Stars

Captain's Log- 3:58 AM- Monday

I hurt myself sleeping again.  This time it's the elbow.  It happened last week when Catalina had a bad head cold and would not go down unless she was, literally, on top of one of us.  Treicy was quickly and unanimously voted in as the human sacrifice/mattress and I, in a futile attempt to stay awake and offer support, decided to prop my elbow up on top of a pillow and rest my head on my hand.  Naturally, I fell asleep within 30 seconds and woke up 90 minutes later with a stiff neck, shoulder and elbow.  The other 2 pains went away... the elbow pain has remained.  This is the stupidest injury ever.  I mean, I've heard of tennis elbow... but pillow elbow?  Ridiculous.  

The girls are advancing more and more everyday.  Renata has finally kicked it out of "reverse" and has begun crawling forward.  Her inspiration?  Not Mommy or Daddy or even Big Brother... nope.  It was Lola the house cat.   She is obsessed with her.  No matter what she is doing or what os going on, as soon as Lola enters the room Renata breaks out a huge smile and tracks her every move.  The cat, naturally, could not care less about her or her sister... or her brother or anyone else for that matter.  Lola is just looking for a warm, sunny spot on the tile floor to nap on.  Lola is on a schedule... Lola can't be bothered. 

"What?  The cute little brown baby likes me?  Great... give me a catnip treat and leave me alone, please."  

Another interesting development has been Catalina's complete comprehension of facial features.  When you say "Nose", she points to your nose.  When you say "Mouth", she points to your mouth.  She covers the entire spectrum; eyes, hair, cheeks, tongue and teeth.  Is that normal for a 10-month old, or is she some kind of a anatomical savant?  Is that even a thing?  Catalina is also standing up on her own a lot.  She grabs onto whatever is nearby and pulls herself up and then shuffles her feet sideways and moves laterally.  She's amazing and continues to lead the pack in all things developmental.  However, I will not declare her a genius until she manages to pull off one more feat... the most important feat of all.

SLEEP... THROUGH... THE... NIGHT.

Then, and only then, will these girls achieve the legendary status that they deserve.  They're not quite there yet, but rest assured that as soon as they do... you'll be the first to know.

Captain's Log- 3:11 AM- Wednesday

An interesting thing has developed in the last 10 months since we received the girls.  And it is something that we anticipated and actually looked forward to.  But now that it is here... I must admit it feels a bit stranger than I thought it would.  Treicy and I and Esteban as well, to a certain extent, has ceased to exist.  I mean this literally.  We no longer occupy space in the new universe that is... RenCat.  They are rock stars... they are all-powerful.  They are omnipotent, omnipresent and a force to be reckoned with.  They are glorious.  They never disappoint.  Time and time again they have been placed in enormous social situations where they are surrounded by family and they are cute and bubbly and smiling and perfect babies every single time.  Not one tantrum... not a single cranky day.  All rainbows and gumdrops, all the time.  The entire family is completely mesmerized by them.  They can't get enough.  Even the most hardened macho alpha male type is reduced to a pile of giggles and baby voices.  I saw a video where my father-in-law in Puerto Rico is dancing to the song: "Itsy Bitsy Spider" for them just so they'll smile.  He even used Jazz Hands!  Are you kidding me?  This is a man who leaves bruises on me every time he hugs me.  This is a man who climbed telephone poles for a living.  This is a man who carries a machete.  Treicy couldn't believe it.  She said it's been a long time since she's seen her father act silly like this.  Not since they were little kids.  

When I stop and think about it, maybe that's Renata and Catlina's mission in life.  To remind everyone of their better selves.  To remind everyone that they are still allowed to make goofy faces and act silly, if even for a little while.  But the point still remains that while the girls are causing all of this lovey-dovey good will and joy amongst the masses... Treicy and I now go completely under the radar.  Nobody notices what we are wearing... nobody is aware if one of us is not there... No one realizes it when we sneak away for a quick cat nap in the middle of the party.  It's amazing.  Now we realize that this state of grace will end as soon as the girls go from adorable little babies to moody pre-teens so we are taking full advantage of the situation and enjoying the invisibility.  Because we both know that when they become teenagers... we're going to wish we could be invisible.