Episode 4- Snooza-Palooza

Captain's Log:  3:11 AM- Wednesday

The mind games have begun.  They waited until we were weakened and vulnerable and then they started messing with us.  They threw us, what appeared to be, a life saver.  A ray of hope... a flash of light at the end of the tunnel.   And then they shut the door in our faces again and reminded us who the real bosses are around here.  After months of battering us with feedings every 3 hours like clockwork, the girls threw us a curveball a couple of nights ago.   They skipped the midnight feeding and slept continuously from 9PM to 4AM.  

What?

You read me correctly.  Let me repeat it so that we are all 100% clear.... On Monday night, we were allowed 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep! (insert applause SFX here)  It was bliss... It was nirvana... It was one of the best experiences of my life.

1)  It was better than my first kiss.  It was during a middle school Halloween party and the girl in question mistook me for someone else wearing the same costume.  Apparently I was not the only KISS fan at the party.  She was mortified,... I was in love.  Thank you Gene Simmons.

2)  It was better than my first paying job.  My grandfather used to pay me a little money on the side to be his secret errand boy when I was a teenager.  My responsibilities included delivering covert payments to various fortune tellers and witch doctors behind my grandmother's back and assisting with the maintenance and general up-keep of his toupees (yes, that is a plural... he had 3).

3)  It was better than my 9th grade prom.  Couldn't get a date so I went stag with a good buddy of mine (another dateless heartthrob) and we ended up leaving the dance after 15 minutes and going straight to McDonald's, in rented tuxedos, to drown our sorrows in Filet-o-Fish sandwiches and apple pies (the original fried ones that were filled with molten lava apple-flavored goodness that caused 3rd degree burns to the roof of your mouth).

I thought that we had turned a corner for sure.  It was going to be 7 hours of sleep at a time, every night from now on and then maybe in a couple of weeks... the holy grail... the 10-12 hour extravaganzas that Esteban pulls every night.  It was going to be great.  I was going to start shaving again (I've been opting for the scruffy look in exchange the extra 15 minutes of sleep lately)... Treicy was going to go back to her normal routine of preparing breakfast for Esteban every morning before school (now, she feeds the girls upstairs while I'm in charge of his breakfast downstairs).  We've been getting by.  A lot of cold cereals and Pop Tarts for the most part... although, truth be told, I was running extremely late one morning last month and he had orange Jello and String Cheese for breakfast the car on the way to school.  He loved it... we never told mom.

But the 7-hour snooza-palooza was not to be.  The following night, and every night since, has been back to the normal 3 hour feedings.  They were just sending us a little message and letting us know that someday we may very well be sleeping normal hours... but not yet.  Not quite yet.  Now I know why sleep deprivation is the preferred "motivational" tool used when interrogating terrorists. 

Captain's Log:  3:44 AM- Thursday

Quick story about my dad.  He lives out-of-state so our main method of communication is through the computer on SKYPE.  As we were catching up one evening, he commented about the bags under my eyes and how exhausted I looked.  He advised me to try to pace myself and not overdo it.  He suggested small naps throughout the day.  I promised him the I would try.  Then something occurred to me... "Hey Dad" I said.  "I don't ever remember you taking naps when we were kids.  You were never exhausted or cranky.  You never needed a break or anything like that."  "That is absolutely correct, son" he said.  "Would you like to know what my secret was?" "Yes!" I screamed.  "Please!"  "Go get a pad and pencil and write this down" he said...  "It'a  little complicated... You ready?" "Yes" I said.  "Go ahead."

"I was 27 years old" he said.  "That's when normal people have children.  What kind of a moron starts a family when he's in his forties?  Huevon!"  

I just sat there with my pad and pencil in hand watching him on my computer screen as he laughed himself into a 5 minute coughing fit.  When will I ever learn?  Nicely played, old man... nicely played.