Captain's Log: 3:29 AM- Saturday
The pain in my back has now officially moved down to my outer butt and nested there. I feel like I'm 150 years old. I had to get some work done last night so I didn't get to bed until just after midnight. I'm operating on 2 hours of sleep and 3 Red Bulls right now. The girls are developing beautifully so I know we are doing something right but I can't continue on for too much longer like this. I'm going to have to start napping in my car during my lunch hour at work. The thing is that, with two cribs, we only have room for one rocking chair in the nursery so I always sit on an ottoman that we have in there for the feedings. The baby goes on my lap and I hunch over and feed her while rocking back and forth for the entire 20 minute process. For some reason, I usually stare at my feet during these late night feedings. I need something to focus on while I try to convince myself not to pass out. After 12 weeks of this practice 2 things have been made perfectly clear to me. 1) I now have constant back pain because of this awkward position and 2) I have horrible feet.
Captain's Log: 3:03 AM- Sunday
I cannot compete with my wife when it comes to parenting, not even close. That is not an ode of love to her nor is it me taking an opportunity to kiss her butt on a public forum... it's just a cold, hard fact. She is so freaking good at it that it is infuriating. She's 100% a natural. Just like Tiger Woods with a golf club... Billy Joel with a piano... Or me with fatty foods. These last 4 months have shown me how amazingly good she is at this gig, even though she is exhausted and stressed beyond belief... she still manages to put on her Mommy face everyday for all 3 of our kids. I got a little glimpse of this action when we got Esteban 7 years ago. Don't get me wrong... she was amazing with him too but he was 11 months old... he was practically a fully-formed human being already. This ninja training that we are going through right now is a whole different bag of frijoles. The schedule that these girls have us on is insane, inhuman and impossible... for me. I struggle daily just to hold my end up while she excels and dominates. For example... I, currently, am feeding Renata and fighting back the urge to weep uncontrollably while begging my baby daughter for mercy and to please go immediately to sleep after her bottle. That's how desperate I am. Meanwhile... my wife is softly singing Catalina to sleep... Really? I can't gather up the energy to speak in complete sentences right now, much less attempt to carry a tune. The girls respond to her differently than they do me. They are immediately soothed by her presence and touch. They immediately feel comfort and warmth and are lulled into a sense of security that relaxes them right away. In contrast, when I hold them they look like they are being interrogated by the FBI... Like they are walking a high wire without a net. They are stiff and uncertain. They sense my inexperience and it makes them uneasy. And who can blame them? How would you feel if you were about to undergo a major medical procedure and then you look over at your doctor and he looks exhausted, disillusioned and ready to cry? Not good.
Things that my wife can do that I can't that piss me off:
1) She can change a diaper with one hand. I've seen her do it while holding the other baby... Really? Even using two hands I once managed to get poop behind Catalina's left ear.
2) She can rock them both to sleep at the same time like a boss... Unimaginable. I have shin splints from pacing back and forth trying to get just 1 of them to sleep every night.
3) She can feed them both at the same time, if necessary... Impossible. One of them always ends up with a face full of milk whenever I try it.
4) She can actually go out in public alone with the two babies without any help... Unless we're escaping a house fire... That's not happening either.
5) She always hears them. Every whimper... every cough... every sigh. She can be in a deep slumber but if Renata farts in her sleep (as she is prone to do), Treicy will hear it from the other room. I, on the other hand, have been found dead asleep in the baby room rocking chair with a screaming infant in my lap before. I have a lot of catching up to do if I'm even going to come close to her level. The problem is that she's also getting better at this everyday. Sigh... I'm never going to catch up to her. Maybe when they're teenagers I can woo them with cash prizes and goodies in order to become their favorite. All bullshit aside... Treicy is my savior and my hero... and I would not be able to survive a moment of this amazing experience without her.
Meanwhile... back at the Renata feeding... Her bottle is now empty and she is showing no signs of sleepiness. She is wide awake and ready to party. Im ready to offer her anything she could ever want. She wants a tattoo when she's 15? Let's do it, it's on me! She wants a trip around the world with her friends when she's 18? I'll book that thing right now... how many are going and for how long? Daddy's buying! She wants her boyfriend to move in to the house with us when she's 19?.... Uh.... ok let's not get carried away... I don't think I'll ever be that sleepy.
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