Episode 7- Girly Hands

Captain's Log:  3:42 AM- Friday

Amazingly profound things occur to you when you are exhausted and hanging on by a thread.  This was tonight's tasty morsel: I am a complete and utter failure as a man.  I don't mean in the sense that I don't take care of my responsibilities as a husband and father... I mean in the sense that I am the least-handy person in the universe... maybe the entire galaxy.  Oh sure I have a toolbox, but it's just for show.  It's for putting together IKEA furniture and hanging pictures.... I don't even know the names of the tools that I have, much less know how to use them.  This worries me now that I have the twins.  I really need to work on becoming more of a man for their sakes.  They need to see me doing more manual, man-type labor around the house.  The male/female roles need to be more clearly defined.  I need to man up.

My lack of manliness was never a problem until 15 years ago... that was when I married into a family full of elite alpha-males.  Treicy was raised on a farm in Puerto Rico.  My father-in-law is a farmer who just recently retired after working over 30 years for the power and light company on the island.   When Treicy was a little girl, he would work all day climbing telephone poles and fixing power lines... and then come home to work the farm in the evenings and weekends.  He built the house that they grew up in, from the ground up, with his own two hands.  She has 2 brothers.  One is a  technician for the power and light company like their father, and the other is a master electrician.  All of her uncles and male cousins earn a living in very manly ways as well... they are construction workers, farmers, civil engineers, horse breeders/trainers, mechanics, factory workers, soldiers and bar owners.  These are men that know how to work with their hands and they pull 14 hour days without blinking an eye.  They all have farmer's tans and own multiple pairs of dirty work boots and all are prone to tinkering under the hood of their many vehicles and motorcycles.  They are men's men and as tough as they come.  The women of the family also fell in line and married real men with real outdoor jobs.

Treicy, in a fit of family rebellion or perhaps in some sort of a reaction to blunt force trauma to the head... married me.  A writer.  An indoor creature with a penchant for Ramen and Pop Tarts who'd much rather be in a bookstore than a Home Depot.  That poor family never saw it coming.

My brothers-in-law and cousins who live in Puerto Rico have an affectionate nickname that they have for me.  They call me 'Manos de Nena" which loosely translates to 'Girly Hands".  My hands are smooth and callous-free while theirs are littered with nicks and cuts and scars and scabs and gashes and blisters and scrapes.   I try to tell them that I have the hands of an artist... they tell me that they have another name for that on the island.  That's when I usually change the subject.

I think the girls will be one of each.  Renata will be a do-it-yourselfer like her mother who installs ceiling fans on her own (while I, her trusty flunky sidekick, hands her tools and holds the heavy fan motor for her)... and Catalina will call the handyman (or call daddy so he can call the handyman).  I say this because of the way they approach things now.  Renata does not want you to feed her anymore.  She rips the bottle from your hands and wants to do it herself.  Catalina leans back with a smile and caresses your hand during her feedings.  Renata will sometimes hold the pacifier in her hand and insert it into her mouth whenever she sees fit, always in complete control.  Catalina depends completely on you for her pacifying pleasures.   

At the end of the day, I know, that it really doesn't matter as long as they are healthy and happy.  But I can't help but look to the future as I imagine my girls as pre-teens in Puerto Rico visiting the family on the farm.  Renata will be on horseback with her uncle or on the back of a motorcycle with her grandfather while Catalina captures it all on her I-Phone and then uploads it later on her YouTube Channel.  I'm sure she will not be mocked for being an artist like her father was.  I guess it's okay to have girly hands when you actually are a little girl.